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she took the keys from her pocket and handed them over。 i thought maybe youd forgot i had em； she said。
i dont forget much。
i could of just slipped off like i was goin to the ladies room and took your truck and left you settin there。
no you couldnt of。
why not？
get in the truck。
they got in and he set the case between them and pulled the tec…9 out of his belt and slid it under the seat。
why not？ she said。
dont be ignorant all your life。 in the first place i could see all the way to the front door and out the parkin lot clear to the truck。 in the second place even if i was dumb…ass enough to set with my back to the door id of just called a cab and run you down and pulled you over and beat the shit out of you and left you layin there。
she got real quiet。 he put the key in the ignition and started the truck and backed it out。
would you of done that？
what do you think？
when they pulled into van horn it was seven oclock at night。 shed slept a good part of the way； curled up with her knapsack for a pillow。 he pulled into a truckstop and shut off the engine and her eyes snapped open like a deers。 she sat up and looked at him and then looked out at the parking lot。 where are we？ she said。
van horn。 you hungry？
i could eat a bite。
you want some diesel fried chicken？
what？
he pointed to the sign overhead。
i aint eatin nothin like that； she said。
she was in the ladies room a long time。 when she came out she wanted to know if hed ordered。
i did。 i ordered some of that chicken for you。
you aint done it； she said。
they ordered steaks。 do you live like this all the time？ she said。
sure。 when youre a big time desperado the skys the limit。
whats that on that chain？
this？
yeah。
its a tush off of a wild boar。
what do you wear that for？
it aint mine。 im just keepin it for somebody。
a lady somebody？
no； a dead somebody。
the steaks came。 he watched her eat。 does they anybody know where youre at？ he said。
what？
i said does anybody know where youre at。
like who？
like anybody。
you。
i dont know where youre at because i dont know who you are。
well that makes two of us。
you dont know who you are？
no； silly。 i dont know who you are。
well； well just keep it that way and they wont neither of us be out nothin。 all right？
all right。 whatd you ask me that for？
moss mopped up steak gravy with a half a roll。 i just thought it was probably true。 for you its a luxury。 for me its a necessity。
why？ because theys somebody after you？
maybe。
i do like it that way； she said。 you got that part right。
it dont take long to get a taste for it； does it？
no； she said。 it dont。
well； it aint as simple as it sounds。 youll see。
why is that。
theres always somebody knows where youre at。 knows where and why。 for the most part。
are you talkin about god？
no。 im talkin about you。
she ate。 well； she said。 youd be in a fix if you didnt know where you was at。
i dont know。 would you？
i dont know。
suppose you was someplace that you didnt know where it was。 the real thing you wouldnt know was where someplace else was。 or how far it was。 it wouldnt change nothin about where you was at。
she thought about that。 i try not to think about stuff like that； she said。
you think when you get to california youll kind of start over。
thems my intentions。
i think maybe thats the point。 theres a road goin to california and theres one in back。 but the best way would be just to show up there。
show up there。
yeah。
you mean and not know how you got there？
yeah。 and not know how you got there。
i dont know how youd do that。
i dont either。 thats the point。
she ate。 she looked around。 can i get some coffee？ she said。
you can get anything you want。 you got money。
she looked at him。 i guess i aint sure what the point is； she said。
the point is there aint no point。
no。 i mean what you said。 about knowin where you are。
he looked at her。 after a while he said： its not about knowin where you are。 its about thinkin you got there without takin anything with you。 your notions about startin over。
or anybodys。 you dont start over。 thats what its about。 ever step you take is forever。
you cant make it go away。 none of it。 you understand what im sayin？
i think so。
i know you dont but let me try it one more time。 you think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday dont count。 but yesterday is all that does count。 what else is there？
your life is made out of the days its made out of。 nothin else。 you might think you could run away and change your name and i dont know what all。 start over。 and then one mornin you wake up and look at the ceilin and guess whos layin there？
she nodded。
you understand what im sayin？
i understand that。 i been there。
yeah； i know you have。
so are you sorry you bee a outlaw？
sorry i didnt start sooner。 are you ready？
when he came out of the motel office he handed her a key。
whats that？
thats your key。
she hefted it in her hand and looked at him。 well； she said。 its up to you。
yes it is。
i guess youre afraid ill see whats in that bag。
not really。
he started the truck and pulled down the parking lot behind the motel office。
are you queer？ she said。
me？ yeah； im queer as a coot。
you dont look it。
is that right？ you know a lot of queers？
you dont act it i guess i should say。
well darlin what would you know about it？
i dont know。
say it again。
what？
say it again。 i dont know。
i dont know。
thats good。 you need to practice that。 it sounds good on you。
later he went out and drove down to the quickstop。 when he pulled back into the motel he sat there studying the cars in the lot。 then he got out。
he walked down to her room and tapped at the door。 he waited。 he tapped again。 he saw the curtain move and then she opened the door。 she stood there in the same jeans and t…shirt。 she looked like shed just woken up。
i know you aint old enough to drink but i thought id see if you wanted a beer。
yeah； she said。 id drink a beer。
he lifted one of the cold bottles out of the brown paper bag and handed it to her。 here you go； he said。
hed already turned to go。 she stepped out and let the door shut behind her。 you dont need to rush off thataway； she said。
he stopped on the lower step。
you got another one of these in that sack？
yeah。 i got two more。 and i aim to drink both of em。
i just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me。
he squinted at her。 you ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer？ i think it starts about age three。
what about men？
they get used to it。 they better。
i wont say a word。 ill just set here。
you wont say a word。
no。
well thats already a lie。
well i wont say hardly nothin。 ill be real quiet。
he sat on the step and pulled one of the beers from the bag and twisted off the cap and tilted the bottle and drank。 she sat on the next step up and did the same。
you sleep a lot？ he said。
i sleep when i get the chance。 yeah。 you？
i aint had a nights sleep in about two weeks。 i dont know what it would feel like。 i think its beginnin to make me stupid。
you dont look stupid to me。
well； thats by your lights。
what does that mean？
nothin。 im just raggin you。 ill quit。
you aint got drugs in that satchel have you？
no。 why？ you use drugs？
id smoke some weed if you had some。
well i aint。
thats all right。
moss shook his head。 he drank。
i just meant its all right we could just set out here and drink a beer。
well im glad to hear thats all right。
where are you headin？ you aint never said。
hard to say。
you aint goin to california though； are you？
no。 i aint。
i didnt think so。
im goin to el paso。
i thought you didnt know where you was goin。
maybe i just decided。
i dont think so。
moss didnt answer。
this is nice settin out here； she said。
i guess it depends on where you been settin。
you aint just got out of the penitentiary or somethin have you？
i just got off of death row。 theyd done shaved my head for the electric chair。 you can