按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
oh god； she said。 oh god。
im sorry。
she looked at him a final time。 you dont have to； she said。 you dont。 you dont。
he shook his head。 youre asking that i make myself vulnerable and that i can never do。
i have only one way to live。 it doesnt allow for special cases。 a coin toss perhaps。 in this case to small purpose。 most people dont believe that there can be such a person。
you can see what a problem that must be for them。 how to prevail over that which you refuse to acknowledge the existence of。 do you understand？ when i came into your life your life was over。 it had a beginning； a middle； and an end。 this is the end。 you can say that things could have turned out differently。 that they could have been some other way。 but what does that mean？ they are not some other way。 they are this way。 youre asking that i second say the world。 do you see？
yes； she said； sobbing。 i do。 i truly do。
good； he said。 thats good。 then he shot her。
the car that hit chigurh in the intersection three blocks from the house was a ten year old buick that had run a stop…sign。 there were no skidmarks at the site and the vehicle had made no attempt to brake。 chigurh never wore a seatbelt driving in the city because of just such hazards and although he saw the vehicle ing and threw himself to the other side of the truck the impact carried the caved…in driver side door to him instantly and broke his arm in two places and broke some ribs and cut his head and his leg。 he crawled out of the passenger side door and staggered to the sidewalk and sat in the grass of someones lawn and looked at his arm。 bone sticking up under the skin。 not good。 a woman in a housedress ran out screaming。
blood kept running into his eyes and he tried to think。 he held the arm and turned it and tried to see how badly it was bleeding。 if the median artery were severed。 he thought not。 his head was ringing。 no pain。 not yet。
two teenage boys were standing there looking at him。
are you all right； mister？
yeah； he said。 im all right。 let me just sit here a minute。
theres an ambulance in。 man over yonder went to call one。
all right。
you sure youre all right。
chigurh looked at them。 what will you take for that shirt？ he said。
they looked at each other。 what shirt？
any damn shirt。 how much？
he straightened out his leg and reached in his pocket and got out his moneyclip。 i need something to wrap around my head and i need a sling for this arm。
one of the boys began to unbutton his shirt。 hell； mister。 why didnt you say so？ ill give you my shirt。
chigurh took the shirt and bit into it and ripped it in two down the back。 he wrapped his head in a bandanna and he twisted the other half of the shirt into a sling and put his arm in it。
tie this for me； he said。
they looked at each other。
just tie it。
the boy in the t…shirt stepped forward and knelt and knotted the sling。 that arm dont look good； he said。
chigurh thumbed a bill out of the clip and put the clip back in his pocket and took the bill from between his teeth and got to his feet and held it out。
hell； mister。 i dont mind helpin somebody out。 thats a lot of money。
take it。 take it and you dont know what i looked like。 you hear？
the boy took the bill。 yessir； he said。
they watched him set off up the sidewalk； holding the twist of the bandanna against his head； limping slightly。 part of thats mine； the other boy said。
you still got your damn shirt。
that aint what it was for。
that may be； but im still out a shirt。
they walked out into the street where the vehicles sat steaming。 the streetlamps had e on。 a pool of green antifreeze was collecting in the gutter。 when they passed the open door of chigurhs truck the one in the t…shirt stopped the other with his hand。 you see what i see？ he said。
shit； the other one said。
what they saw was chigurhs pistol lying in the floorboard of the truck。 they could already hear the sirens in the distance。 get it； the first one said。 go on。
why me？
i aint got a shirt to cover it with。 go on。 hurry。
he climbed the three wooden steps to the porch and tapped loosely at the door with the back of his hand。 he took off his hat and pressed his shirtsleeve against his forehead and put his hat back on again。
e in； a voice called。
he opened the door and stepped into the cool darkness。 ellis？
im back here。 e on back。
he walked through to the kitchen。 the old man was sitting beside the table in his chair。
the room smelled of old bacon…grease and stale woodsmoke from the stove and over it all lay a faint tang of urine。 like the smell of cats but it wasnt just cats。 bell stood in the doorway and took his hat off。 the old man looked up at him。 one clouded eye from a cholla spine where a horse had thrown him years ago。 hey； ed tom； he said。 i didnt know who that was。
how are you makin it？
youre lookin at it。 you by yourself？
yessir。
set down。 you want some coffee？
bell looked at the clutter on the checked oilcloth。 bottles of medicine。 breadcrumbs。
quarterhorse magazines。 thank you no； he said。 i appreciate it。
i had a letter from your wife。
you can call her loretta。
i know i can。 did you know she writes me？
i guess i knew shed wrote you a time or two。
its more than a time or two。 she writes pretty regular。 tells me the family news。
i didnt know there was any。
you might be surprised。
so what was special about this letter then。
she just told me you was quittin； thats all。 set down。
the old man didnt watch to see if he would or he wouldnt。 he fell to rolling himself a cigarette from a sack of tobacco at his elbow。 he twisted the end in his mouth and turned it around and lit it with an old zippo lighter worn through to the brass。 he sat smoking； holding the cigarette pencilwise in his fingers。
are you all right？ bell said。
im all right。
he wheeled the chair slightly sideways and watched bell through the smoke。 i got to say you look older； he said。
i am older。
the old man nodded。 bell had pulled out a chair and sat and he put his hat on the table。
let me ask you somethin； he said。
all right。
whats your biggest regret in life。
the old man looked at him； gauging the question。 i dont know； he said。 i aint got all that many regrets。 i could imagine lots of things that you might think would make a man happier。 i reckon bein able to walk around might be one。 you can make up your own list。 you might even have one。 i think by the time youre grown youre as happy as youre goin to be。 youll have good times and bad times； but in the end youll be about as happy as you was before。 or as unhappy。 ive knowed people that just never did get the hang of it。
i know what you mean。
i know you do。
the old man smoked。 if what youre askin me is what made me the unhappiest then i think you already know that。
yessir。
and it aint this chair。 and it aint this cotton eye。
yessir。 i know that。
you sign on for the ride you probably think you got at least some notion of where the rides goin。 but you might not。 or you might of been lied to。 probably nobody would blame you then。 if you quit。 but if its just that it turned out to be a little roughern what you had in mind。 well。 thats somethin else。
bell nodded。
i guess some things are better not put to the test。
i guess thats right。
what would it take to run loretta off？
i dont know。 i guess id have to do somethin that was pretty bad。 it damn sure wouldnt be just cause things got a little rough。 shes done been there a time or two。
ellis nodded。 he tipped the ash from his smoke into a jar…lid on the table。 ill take your word on that； he said。
bell smiled。 he looked around。 how fresh is that coffee？
i think its all right。 i generally make a fresh pot here ever week even if there is some left over。
bell smiled again and rose and carried the pot to the counter and plugged it in。
they sat at the table drinking coffee out of the same crazed porcelain cups that had been in that house since before he was born。 bell looked at the cup and he looked around the kitchen。 well； he said。 some things dont change； i reckon。
what wo